Little Ontiveros #2

 

Yup, we have been blessed with another stinker.

I am currently 13 weeks and 6 days along today, baby #2 will be due June 25-30^th 2015. We had the ultrasound for the NT scan today and this little sweetie was kicking and moving like crazy! At one point I wanted to ask the technician if my child was having a mini seizure. They also had their hands up by their face almost the entire time, had it’s dukes up to fight. We brought Lily to the ultrasound and right away she said, ‘it’s my baby sister’, so I guess that is our first gender prediction. Heart beat is 153 bpm, so my mom is convinced it’s a boy…but I’m feeling another little lady. This was a wonderful early Christmas present to see our baby today. Just pray it is healthy and continues strong.

So far this pregnancy has been a whole different feel then with Lily. Which I was warned it would be.

 How we found out we were pregnant was kind of a funny story…

 I have been feeling sick for some time, but have not been able to go to the doctor because my new employer insurance had not kicked in yet. So I was holding off on going to the doctor. The week before we found out the positive result, I had taken a pregnancy test to be sure I was not pregnant, because I was having all the symptoms. I took two tests, both stating a negative result for pregnancy, I felt I was losing my mind. What could it be that is making my body feel so terrible?! The following week, on Wednesday October 22^nd, I was feeling so sick, could not eat, feeling dizzy and I felt something was very wrong. So I decided to go to urgent care to see if maybe it was the flu or at least they could verify I needed to go to the hospital. The doctor reviewed my symptoms and asked to take a urine sample thinking it could be an infection. After taking the test, I went back into the room with Mark to wait for the doctor. Mark turns to me and says ‘what if you’re pregnant’? I laughed at his question and said, ‘there is no way in hell I’m pregnant. I’ve taken two tests already that have come out negative and I have not been ‘regular’ enough to get pregnant…’ just as I was finishing my sentence, the doctor walked in with a concerned look on his face, ‘well, there was no sign of infection…but...’ he comes to sit down in front of me (I was panicking at this point) ‘but you are pregnant.’ I began to cry. ‘oh my gosh…’ He then looks at me as I’m crying, ‘is this good news?’ ‘Yes! Great news! I’m just shocked right now.’ He congratulated us, and we left with our happy news…needless to say my appetite came back as soon as I had knowledge that a little person inside of me would be taking all my resources. That was the most expensive pregnancy test I’ve ever taken. Lol. And of course, I had to take another pregnancy test a week later just to make sure it was real and they did not mix my urine with someone else’s.

Unfortunately, the back pain and stomach pain kept returning, so I made an appointment with my GP the following week. After some ultrasound testing they determined I have multiple gall stones and my gall bladder needs to be removed…eventually. Luckily there is no infection, inflammation or mass in my pancreas. So in talking to my surgeon, she wants me to wait till after delivery of the baby and then we can remove the gall bladder. In the meantime I get to be on a strict low fat diet. Which I found out just in time for Thanksgiving/Christmas…no goodies for me. I’ve lost a total of 10lbs, which normally I’d be thrilled, but considering the growing belly, it only shows in my face.

Pregnancy so far…

This has been a rough first trimester. Constantly sick, no vomiting, only gaging and wishing I could vomit. Smells, even smells I once loved make me sick. I have only been working out once a week at the gym because I’ve felt too weak from my nausea. And I have not been able to tell anyone, so it looks like I’m wimping out when I choose not to use heavy weights or burpees. I don’t remember feeling this way with Lily. I did vomit well into my second trimester with Lily, but always felt better after. Then, I’m still the paranoid mess I’ve always been and think I’m going to have a miscarriage any day now (which reading through my entries about lily, I felt the same way). Or that my gall bladder is going to cause an emergency visit to the hospital putting the babies’ health at risk… I seem like a real downer right now, but that’s only because my body feels so terrible. We had a sonogram performed the 8^th week, and the heart beat was going 150 BPM, listening to that heartbeat is always a relief. I guess it’s up to the lord how this pregnancy will go, not me. All I’m asked is to endure well.

We are trying to help Lily understand that we are expecting, but it is hard for her since she does not even know where babies come from. She climbs on my stomach a lot which makes me nervous, so I tell her she is squishing the baby. She looks at me, says ‘its okay mommy’, then does her Witch Doctor moves by lifting her shirt, pretending to grab something from her belly and then lift my shirt and place her hand on my stomach. It’s pretty sweet, but not quite sure what it’s supposed to mean. My sweet little healer. She will be a great big sister.

 

All in all, we are thrilled and excited to invite another little sweetie into our family. We pray for a, healthy pregnancy and a safe delivery of a healthy baby human.

Now for Christmas! YAY!

Grateful

Grateful,

So, I’ve been a bit of a complainer this year. This year has really been a hard one. And lately all I do is complain about the horrible things that have happened this year, how my body is driving me crazy and how un-hopeful I am for the rest of this year. It’s really putting a damper on my family, my spirits and my overall faith.

I am creating a new goal for myself, be an optimist. It’s going to be really hard for my realist personality to do, but hopefully it will improve my quality of life in the long run. So, instead of taking the time to post about all that is wrong in our life right now, I’m going to write about all that is good. Someone once told me, we pay more attention to the car accidents on the road thinking driving is dangerous, yet we miss all the cars driving by without a scratch (something like that.)

I read an article this week, saying the most important attribute you can look for in a partner is for them to be an optimistic and hopeful person. Last thing you want is a total downer by your side when your doctor diagnoses you with cancer. This is why I am so very grateful for my husband. He is by far the most supportive and optimistic person I know. He has had a very hard year. From losing his father to having heart surgery, he never complains! Which does not mean he is not hurting inside. He is constantly thinking about others and not himself, though he has every reason to say ‘woah is me’, he always looks for the silver lining. He is such a blessing to me, and I need to be more like him. I need to be just as supportive, hopeful and optimistic as he is…because he deserves that kind of partner. 

I cannot tell you how many times a day I pray to heavenly father, thanking him for my beautiful daughter. How amazing is it that we have the chance to bring life into this world? And how amazing is it that we get to spend time with these humans, raise them, teach them and love them every day? AND how amazing is it that heavenly father trusts us to do so?! AMAZING! I love my daughter so much. She brightens my darkest days and gives me the courage to continue on, no matter the struggles. She helps me to take my mind off my anxiety and health concerns, with her laughter, funny conversations and her concern for me. Last night she helped me get over my stomach ache by giving me a raspberry on the belly. She knows how to make mommy feel better.

There are not very many working mothers in the world who have the luxury of free child care. My parents are awesome. They are always willing to watch Lily. Never too tired, never needing to do something else that is deemed as important, they are there for us. Lily loves spending time with her Amma and Grandpa, and I am so grateful to have my parents helping me to raise my sweetheart. Parents are wonderful for many reasons. Even if they could not watch lily every day, I’d still have a list of reasons why I love them. But them being able to watch lily, and my mom even works while watching her, is such a huge blessing.

I often complain about how hard it is to be a mom, wife and full time working woman. I do wish I could be a stay at home mom. But alas, that is not my life right now. So, I am very grateful for a full time paying job that helps me to create a home for my family while my wonderful husband studies his butt off so we can have a great future.  My employer is very generous when it comes to my personal time and they are great to work with.

Since I’ve moved around quite a bit in my lifetime, it’s been hard to make and keep friendships. I’m grateful for the friends that I have, who despite the distance have always managed to keep in touch with me. If I don’t show up to women’s class at the gym, my friends are usually trying to find out if I’m doing alright. Grateful for friendships, despite me being terrible at nourishing them.

We have had the opportunity for the past year to live in Grandma O’s home while she is receiving care. Though the primary intention of us moving into the house was so we could take care of it, in retrospect it was really so we could save money. Grateful for my second family (marks family) for allowing us to live in grandmas home. It has been a blessing to not have to live pay check to paycheck and be able to have a home to raise lily. They are always looking out for us financially and it is nice to have that kind of support if necessary. Not having to make a car payment or pay a phone bill can alleviate a lot of financial stress on someone.

Grateful to have a new calling. Though it scares me, I’m glad I have an opportunity to serve in the church. I was called this week to be the Secretary in the Young Women’s organization. I’ve always wanted a calling in Young Womens, though I’ve never been a secretary. The leaders who I will be working with seem really great, which kind of makes me feel inadequate since they are much more spiritually in tuned then I am right now. I’m sure I will love this calling.

Grateful to have the opportunity be physically strong. I love to exercise. It actually makes me happy. I enjoy running, I love to complete challenging workouts (but not burpees) and I love to reach physical goals. I often listen to friends complain about how ‘I can diet, but I can’t exercise’, that is the complete opposite for me. Exercise is never my struggle.

I’ve struggled the past few years with my testimony of the LDS church. Not my testimony of Jesus Christ and the Atonement, only the church organization itself. Was Joseph Smith truly a prophet? Did he really see Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ? The more friends you make outside of your religion, it makes you think about what you truly believe, so I’ve struggled. Though we attend church each Sunday, I struggle with going. I’m not a fan of LDS culture, most of the people appear to be vain, prideful, socially awkward and narrow minded (I know, I sound like a real conceded jerk). They Portray the world as an evil place and we are the only good ones…which I fail to agree. You don’t see many members of the LDS church participating in public events, they tend to be home bodies. And if I see someone I know from church out in public, they usually will not say hello unless I do. However non-LDS acquaintances are usually the first to acknowledge someone they know…maybe this scenario is exclusive to me. Despite my personal clash with LDS culture, it is amazing that the only place where I receive the confidence that I am actively following Gods plan for me through his restored gospel is when I am in the Temple. I am so grateful for Temples. When I am there, I receive so much clarity and peace. I learn more about myself, my eternal father and how I’m connected to the big picture. Though I’m a complicated LDS, with conflicting opinions, I know that I am actively participating with heavenly fathers plan for all his children. Going to the temple also means that I get to go away with Mark, which is always a blessing. Wish we could go more often. That is one thing I can be excited for moving to phoenix, I’ll have access to three temples!

I found out recently that I have gallstones, have had this issue going on for a year and not known. I will have to have my gallbladder removed, which is pretty common. Despite this set back, I'm grateful it was not something worse like cancer or pacriatis. Grateful for modern medicine that can help me, and maybe next time I will listen to my body.

I’m excited and hopeful for what is to come in our lives. The future has always scared me, because I’m not in control. What I can be in control of is my outlook on life and finding ways to be grateful. We were watching 60 minutes the other night when they were doing a piece on the Ebola outbreak in West Africa. I was heartbroken to see all the suffering of the people, one family in the piece lost their 5 yr old son, but the rest were spared. How heartbreaking for that family. Though I am not immune to tragedy, I am so grateful for the trials that I have gone through in my life and the power the lord has given me to overcome them. There is always someone in the world that has it worse.  Maybe instead of dwelling on my own issues, I should be thinking how I can help others with theirs?

Pumpkin Love and Other Things

I really love Fall. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I really love everything about it. I’ve been a little pumpkin crazy the past few weeks, bought lots of pumpkin Halloween décor, different types of squash (made pumpkin soups, Kabocha and will be making butter nut squash). We were at Trader Joes the other day and I wanted to buy everything I could find that was pumpkin related…it’s kind of crazy. we went to the pumpkin patch this weekend to find the family pumpkin ( to go along with the other’s I’ve already purchased) we had a great time, and lily loved the festivities. Love the pumpkin Mark picked out and I got a Cinderella pumpkin which are awesome. Lily got to ride a pony, which made her day and I got some cute ‘Fall’ type photos at the Farm. It was a fun day. Here are some photos:

 

 

 

Well, Mark has received his first job offer for after he graduates. Won’t reveal the company yet until we have officially agreed to go with the offer, but it is somewhere he wanted to work and we are very grateful for the opportunity. He is pretty excited, we are all excited. It would be in Phoenix, which sadly means we would need to move. I don’t like the idea of moving to Phoenix. It is a big city without perks, just overly crowded and hot. BUT, it has more opportunities then we have here in Tucson and will help our little families in the longrun. It will stink to not have family nearby (as in within 30 min drive), but hopefully I will be able to stay at home and not have to place Lily into daycare. The job would not start till Mark graduates, and they give him time to pass the CPA exam, so it would not begin until about September 2015. It’s hard to imagine a life where Mark works full time, in a ‘big boy’ job and us not living by family. But I guess this will be the beginning of our future…deep, I know.

We are still waiting to get prego with baby #2. Kind of weird this time around, because the first time was not planned, whereas this time we are trying to plan it. This may be TMI, but I’ve been completely ‘off’ since stopping birth control, which is not causing the ‘environment’ to be conducive with conceiving a child ( that is the least TMI I could put it.) I’ve thought a lot about it, especially since I’ve assumed I was prego several times, only to find out I was empty, at which point I thought that I could be content with just Lily. As untrue as that really is, I’m trying to prep myself for the possibility that we may just be a one child family. And in reality, that is okay. We were blessed to have Lily, who was totally unexpected, how could we be greedy enough to ask for another when there are others who can’t conceive one? She is the perfect child. Maybe not Jesus perfect, but dang, she is pretty amazing. If we did not have any other children, I am extremely grateful to have a child like my lil’ lil’. I would love to see our family grow, lily would make an amazing older sister, Mark is a fantastic father and I feel deeply that we are not done. BUT just cause I feel it, does not make it so. I’m going to continue to be baby ready but understand that if it is the lords will for us to be a one child family, it will not be the end of the world. It would just be a different world then what I’d envisioned. And that is okay

Lately

Not much to say, just wanted to post some pictures.
Fall is here, which makes me happy. We've got some fun stuff coming up, so lots to look forward too.
We celebrated five years of marriage. Can't believe its been five years... feels like a life time. It has gone fast, but it feels like I've always known mark. Can't really remember what life was like before him. Love that man so much, can't believe I'm so lucky to be with such a patient, hardworking, ambitious and caring man. Grateful everyday for him.
Mark has had a few call backs from interviews with accounting firms which is exciting, makes us feel like we are almost done with this school journey. He has an interview everyday this week! He's going to be an interview pro. Some big firms, but we are just hoping to get as many offers on the table as possible to decide what our future will be. All the jobs are in Phoenix, which I'm not too excited about, but at least we will be close to home.
Mark and I have begun training at the gym again, which means back on strict diet. I'm excited, but am so sore right now! Every movement makes me whine... but pain is good, right? Hopefully this will help get us back on track and meet some physical goals. I'm hoping to do my first 'band-less' pull up by December. Not too focused on weight, physical strength is more important to me this time around.
Lily... is perfect. Talking more and more, she is a smart girl and so funny!
Life is going pretty well these days, despite minor set backs (flat tires on both cars, AC in house going out, dad in car accident, my anxiety spells), just hope it continues this way...

always a great treat when we can get away to the temple.

 

we stayed overnight in Phoenix for our anniversary. Though our view from the hotel required peeking around the corner, it was a lot of fun just the two of us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

house is decorated with the help of my little witch

getting ready for Halloween!

enjoying our conference weekend with some time at the park in between sessions.

 

pics from the family reunion arrived via Whitney. Fun times!

Cats, Both Wild and Domestic...

Great three day weekend, its been really nice to have mark home on the weekends! We are both loving our new jobs. It feels weird to get out of work before 5 everyday and not feel sick of talking to people all day. I've noticed my anxiety is minimal, and I'm able to focus on physical goals again. So far, so good!

Spent labor day at Breakers Water Park. Lily had a blast! I was worried about all the water she swallowed since she is still learning to swim, but she's happy. We have not been there since she was 6 months, it was fun to be back.

six months vs. 32 months

my baby has grown so much so fast!

We went to our first U of A game of the season. GO WILD CATS! Love going to football games with mark. Makes a good date night and mark is patient enough to teach me the game. Plus, this means fall is vastly approaching and that makes me very happy! I love fall! Cooler weather, Halloween, pumpkin and apple pie smells... love it.

So, we have a cat stalker. We call him 'el gato' and he has been hovering around our house for about a week now. We'd keep him if mark was not allergic. Right thing to do would be to take it to the humane society, but that is just to much work. So instead, we will keep it outside until it goes to another home. Sweet little gato, just wants to be loved. But it wants to come into our house! We have to go out the back door if its in the front, and the back if its in the front. Its a pain. Hopefully it will go away soon, realizing we were not meant for a pet. Poor animal.