My Relationship With Food

Homer and I are kindred spirits. mmmm, donut.

As I am continuing with my new diet of no processed foods, sugar, wheat or starches, I have come to realize my relationship with food.

I have never seen myself as an emotional eater. When I am stressed, upset or nervous I just simply do not eat. I have never understood how others could consume food when they are hurting inside.

But I have discovered this past month that I am a 'Bored Eater'. Which means, that I eat out of entertainment. Before my diet change, I could go hours without eating through the day. I would find myself to much in a hurry to eat breakfast and to busy to eat lunch while working. And then to top off the night I would get a craving for food that was not good for me, but made me feel happy to be home.

 Now that I have been home with Lily, I find myself getting bored while she is napping, and the first thing I want to do? EAT YUMMY FOOD! Yup, in those times of boredom I think of the most yummy things I could eat to occupy my free time. Pancakes with chocolate chips and peanut butter, flour tortillas with melted cheese or a creamy mushroom soup that makes me feel good from the inside out.

BUT NO! I can't eat any of that with my diet and it leaves me feeling frustrated! I turn to fruit or raw almonds to feed my craving for food entertainment...but it does not feed the itch that I so desperately desire to be scratched. Fortunately, I do not succumb to the temptation and continue focusing on my goal to be healthy.

So, I realize now just how serious my addiction to food is. I never realized how much food was related to my happiness and how much it controlled my life. Kind of sad, but I am happy to have this realization because now I can learn to control it.

Just like a crack addict craves to feed their addiction, so do those who are addicted to food. We need to realize that food was not put on the earth for entertainment or to fill an emotional void, but it was placed on the earth to strengthen and maintain our mortal bodies. Nothing bothers me more then hearing someone tell me 'I cannot live without carbs', because I used to say the same thing. You could live without anything if you knew you would live longer and live a happier life.You can still enjoy the food you eat, and you can still reward yourself with a sweet from time to time, but remember that you are in control. The food does not control you. Hard lesson to learn, but I am proud of myself for desiring to learn it. Even if it does mean that I am still craving that Peanut Butter Bash from Dairy Queen...oh sweet moses those are good!



Blessed Little Lily

Our little Lily was blessed today at our church. Mark did a wonderful job of blessing our little sweetie! However, she was crying during the whole blessing...which I expected. Why you ask? Well, A: it is her nap time during our church hour, and B: She was right in the middle of drinking her bottle when they took her to be blessed. You do NOT take food away from this little lady!

Despite the cries, it was a beautiful blessing...we will just have to tell her someday that if she is not receiving enough blessings in her life, it is because dad could not hear the spirit over her cries. lol!

We love our little sweetie so much and she has truly blessed and enriched our lives with her beautiful spirit. LOVE HER SO MUCH! And, MARK IS SUCH A HOT DADDY!



 

Easter 2012

I know it has been a week since Easter occurred, but i am still going to write about it.

We had a great Easter Sunday! Lily got an Easter basket from Mommy and Daddy...Mark got won too of course. And the Easter bunny even left me a little something, a gift certificate to Rubs for a message...I love to be pampered.

We went to Marks parents ward so we could go home in time to watch The Masters, which Bubba Watson won...we were pretty happy. Then we did an Easter egg hunt with Lily and opened up our Easter baskets from Grammy Ontiveros. It is going to be so awesome next Easter when Lily can actually understand what is going on...right now we are the ones acting like kids. Then we had a wonderful lunch with the Ontiveros. Ham, Turkey and the works. I cheated a little bit on my diet, but it is interesting how after I ate the food, I felt it was totally not worth it and I didn't even miss it. Good lesson to learn for the next time I am tempted to eat unhealthy.

We had Easter dinner at my parents, which is always fun. Good times with family and a good celebration of the Resurrection of the lord. It always helps me to better appreciate the atonement by spending time with our family. The fact that the lord was willing to sacrifice his life so that I could have my family forever and we can return to our heavenly father, is always a fact that I reminded of on Easter Sunday. I have nothing to be unhappy about when I keep in mind that my father in heaven loves me, he has blessed my life with my loving family and has provided a way that we can be together forever. And for that, I am grateful.

Painting eggs with the Nieces and Nephews on Saturday. I bought those ears for Lily, but they didn't fit her...so, Mommy and Daddy got to wear them as Easter Bunnies.

Lily's Easter basket from her Grammy Ontiveros...don't let her fool you, deep down she was thrilled! lol. She got some really cute stuff. Thanks Grammy!

Our Sweetie Easter Morning with her Easter basket from Mommy and Daddy. She looked so cute in her Easter dress!

Mommy and Daddy Easter Bunnies...Mark was so cute!

Easter Egg hunt!

Coloring eggs the night before. The top Left is Lily's egg, if you can't tell, it is an Easter Lily.

Mark is a hottie daddy, Lily looks like she is saying 'I am so over this' and I was just excited to be able to find the Easter eggs!

lol! I got this new App. on my phone called the 'fatty app', wanted to see what our family looked like if we mimicked the Klumps. HOW FUNNY IS LILY! Poor sweetie.
Lily gets blessed on sunday...yay!

New project

So, I got tired of looking for cute headband for lily and not finding anything I liked. And so, I have decided to make them! I am using Velcro to keep the flowers and bows attached to the headband, this way I can interchange designs according to her outfits. I felt creative, we'll see how it works. Here are two bows I made yesterday, I'll make more later today. If you have any cleaver ideas for baby headbands, please let me know!

The Fat Kid

I attended my first cross fit training session this past Tuesday, and I am pretty pumped.

My trainer went over the basics as to what we will be doing together three times a week. He of course had to weigh me and take my body fat percentage...YIKES! Gotta say I was not surprised...but I was definitely ashamed. How could I have ever let myself return to the physicality I despised 8 years ago?! Anyways, enough self loathing, that is why I am changing my lifestyle to begin with!

We did a small portion of the regular work out just to assess at what level I am currently at. I did some jump up pull ups, push ups and squats, 2 sets of 10 for each. I had decided that I was going to push myself to prove that I am not a whimp. So, he timed me and I did not take a rest in between sets and managed to complete the work out in a total of 3 minutes. Gotta say I was pretty proud of myself and so was my trainer who informed me that most people starting out usually have to take a breather in between sets. However, he then told me that I will from here on out improve my time....ugh! I am starting to think that I should have taken the work out lightly because I was WINDED! I felt dizzy and tired...which frustrated me. He even said 'well, we didn't kill ya with the work out today, so we are going to bump it up next session'. All I could think was 'I MAY NOT BE DEAD, BUT I AM DYING RIGHT NOW!'

Luckily, my trainer got food poisoning today and could not meet (not so lucky for him of course). So Mark brought me a long to one of his cross fit classes. Um, yeah, totally kicked my butt! I could not for the life of me perform what is called a 'Burpee'. It is where you do a push up, then hop your legs in, stand up, jump up and repeat for 40 reps. I was getting flash backs to high school being the fat kid that can't achieve the one arm hang or run the mile. It was embarrassing and a little discouraging. However, I have even stronger ambition to accomplish my goals. I WILL NOT BE THE FAT KID!!! (or woman).

Along with the work outs, Mark and I are now Paleo eaters! This means that we eat only natural foods, no grains, no sugar, no starches and no processed foods. And we can have all the seafood, veggies, fruit and protien we can eat. I have gone through all of our existing food and given away all the food that does not comply with our new life style. So far it is going well. Unfortunately we could not eat the spaghetti that the Mia Maids from church made us, but we appreciated the offering :)

 I have made a few Paleo recipes which mimic food we usually eat for dinner. Last night it was Corn dogs made with Almond flour and sweet potato fries.Tonight it was meat loaf made with veggies and ground turkey. It was pretty tasty. I am excited to get creative with my cooking and to know that everything I am eating is going to benefit my body, is a major plus!  

I am at that point in my life were I want the healthy person who has been dormant in my body, to come out and live. I can do this!

Sorry, but I think this is hilarious and so true! I am convinced that P.E. in elementry school was just a way for the gym teacher to get a good laugh. lol!

Skinny on the Brain

Yesterday I finally got the chance to dress Lily in the skinny jeans we purchased in Oregon. She is starting to fit into her clothes, before she was to tiny and was swimming in all her clothes. I am having a lot of fun playing dress up with her.

Speaking of skinny...I want to lose weight. Now that I am able to exercise, it is time for me to get in shape. Tuesday I start cross-fit training with Marks trainer, the same guy who helped mark to lose 50lbs in 4 months. Mark looks so good and feels so great, it has motivated me to desire to feel just as good about myself. I AM SO NERVOUS TO START! I am afraid that I won't be at the physical standing I want to be when I begin training and it will embarrass me. I am the type of person, where if I can't be good at whatever I am doing, I will get frustrated and choose not to continue.

 My motivation? To be a physically healthy wife and mother to my family. I want to be an example to my daughter and for her to be raised in a healthy home. I want my husband to be proud of me as well, and I want to show him love and respect by taking care of myself.

My goal? To lose about 30lbs which would place me at my BMI weight, and running a 5k by September along side with Mark. These seem to be realistic goals, and I KNOW I can achieve them.
This may be me in a few days: