Terrible Thought

I was driving home today and started thinking about how parents who have ugly babies will always think that their baby is beautiful. And then I thought, maybe they actually are disappointed with what their babies look like and just accept that this is their child and it will be beautiful to them. I wonder if I will be disappointed with what my baby looks like? SUCH A TERRIBLE THOUGHT! I have always been told (even before marriage) that my babies would be beautiful, but what if my expectations are to high and I am disappointed? Such a terrible thought, makes me want to slap myself. Mark has such amazing features, his eyes and eye color are incredible, his mouth is perfect and he has a beautiful smile. Hopefully our child will have his good looks...they can have my dark complection and hair. So terrible to even care...but for some reason I do. What is wrong with me?! hahaha!!

The Unexpected Event...Is now Expected!

I know that nobody really pays attention to this blog...So, I am going to make an informal announcement. Mark and I are going to be parents! I have known I was pregnant for about 6 weeks, but I didn't want to say anything till I saw an ultrasound. But I don't want to make any facebook announcements till after I pass 20 weeks. Only because I am so paranoid of a miscarrage, I don't want to jinx it by making a big announcement only to be sad later on (such a pesamist I am!). I am now 13 weeks along, and I had my first ultrasound today. It was probably the most amazing thing I have ever seen. My baby, right there on the big screen. As soon as the doctor placed her wand thingy on my stomach, i saw a head, a torso and two skinny little legs kicking like crazy. I was overcome by emotion and shock to see that deep inside of me is a living human being...and it is a creation of mark and I. Wow. So amazing. I can't stop looking at the pictures of the ultrasound. I just pray that the baby will continue to grow healthy and strong, but it is the lords will, not mine. Mark had no words other then 'I don't even know what I am looking at right now.' It was really funny, this must be so weird for him...I am just in la la land right now. In two weeks I will have another ultrasound, after that I think I might make a big announcement, but we'll see. YAY!! I'M GOING TO BE A MOMMY! Poor kid. haha!

The left photo is of the baby looking at us face to face (looks like an alien.)

The right photo is of the babies profile (aww, so cute!)

Self Realization

I noticed today that I have a habbit of creating awkward situations. When I know that someone does not like me, I make a habbit of saying hello to them or waving to them to aknowlege that I notice them. I don't know why. Maybe it is because I like to see them have a face of 'what should I do back' or maybe it is cause I want them to feel annoyed...not sure. It is always funny though. You don't have to like everyone, but acting like they don't exist is just childish. Am I alone in doing this? Or does anyone else enjoy this too?

Life Changing

I am reading a new book called 'The Five People You Meet in Heaven' by Mitch Albom. So far it is a really interesting book. It is about a man who works for an amusement park as a mechanic. The book starts out with the last few minutes of this mans life and the beginning of his death, and follows him into the after life where he meets five different people that are tied to him in some way or another. The first person he meets is a blue man that he had only seen once in his life and felt that they were total strangers, but the blue man explains to him that they are tied in some way...you end up finding out that the blue man saved the old man's life when he was young, but the old man would have never known it. In one part the blue man says, "The human spirit knows, deep down, that all lives intersect. That death doesn't just take someone, it misses someone else, and in the small distance between being taken and being missed, lives are changed."
Lately I have been thinking about this concept. Not so much about how when someone dies it is cause death passed another person. But how he says " the small distance between being taken and being missed, lives are changed." I was thinking about the choices that I have made in my life and how they have not only affected my own life, but marks life as well. Before I came back home from rexburg in 2008, I had met someone that I felt I cared strongly for. I felt the need to stay in rexburg to be with that person to see if I could be with them in the future. I had spoken to my mom about staying in rexburg during my fall break and working, but she encouraged me to come home so I could be with the family. I was disappointed in my decision, but I knew my family needed me. Had I decided to not go home, I would have never met mark less then a month later. We would have never become friends and we would have never been together. My decision altered his life, in finding his future wife.
Our bishop who is a seminary teacher was sharing a story about when his wife and him went to the temple to pray about a new career move. After much prayer, they felt prompted that he needed to teach at a different school. His choice allowed my brother in law and sister to move to tucson to teach at the old seminary where my bishop was teaching. My sister then convinced my parents to move to Tucson where they could start a new life. The decision of my parents to move from oregon, in the long run, allowed me to move to the place where I would meet my husband. It is interesting that my bishop, years ago, following the promptings of the spirit, allowed for me to find the man I will spend eternity with. We are all tied together. The choices that people make, can alter our futures. Though, sometimes these choices may upset or disapoint us, in some way, our futures will be altered.
So interesting! Makes me feel that I need to be a little more careful about the choices I make in my life, cause I never know whose life I may alter.

Finally a Vacation!

This past week Mark and I had the opportunity to go to Salt Lake City for the Ontiveros family reunion. It was so much fun to finally get away from hot, mundane Tucson and get out in some green, cooler weather. This would be the first time that mark would meet his extended family from his Grandfather Mike Ontiveros side. Mark went to the Ontiveros family golf tournament and won it! In return for winning, he got some of his great uncle chug's Masters memorabilia...let's hope it is worth some money someday. haha Everyone at the reunion was very nice and it was kind of cool to think that mark was blood related to all of the people that were there (at least, I thought it was cool).

We also had a chance to visit with some of my friends. We went to provo to visit with Jack and Jess kingsford and finally get to see their adorable baby. Made me happy to see them and how adorable their little family is. We went to seven peaks, which was just as awesome as I remembered it. Breakers is so crappy in comparison. We also got to eat at my favorite restaraunt in provo, Thai Ruby...oh how I love their curry! Yum Yum!

We did a lot of shopping, we went to a couple asian markets in slc that I used to go to when I was in college. I got supplies to make Boabo tea, so good!

We also went to the Nationwide tour, which was pretty awesome...mark should play in that, hopefully someday.

Overall it was a pretty wonderful time. I wanted to stay so bad. Even contemplated how we could make it work if we decided to stay for good. But, the process was to difficult to figure out and we would make a lot of people upset. Not worth it I guess. I am just so tired of tucson...but i know it is just cause i hate the summers here. Not having air conditioning in my car really puts a damper on the summer. Oh well, it will be over soon. But I would not say no to moving to Salt Lake, the summers are so beautiful!