Mark has yet to begin his busy season, though sometimes work requires him to stay till 9 ish. which stinks, but we knew it would be that way. He is enjoying his workplace more and more, but misses the freedom he had when he was a student. I'm still working from home. Decided to go down to Tucson every other week for two days, instead of one day every week. Easier for me and the kids, and I think it's better for my employer. We decided that we will renew our lease in July and stay 6 more months if possible. We figure continuing to rent after a year is like putting money towards a dead horse, we get nothing from it and can't ever get that money back. So we will go ahead and purchase a house. We are on track to do so, so hopefully everything will work out. We want to stay in the Gilbert, I really like it here.
Benefit to living in the Phoenix area? All the stuff to do! you could never get bored here, it's impossible. That being said, we had a great time at the aquarium a couple weeks ago.
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| These babies of ours are so adorable, seriously |
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| Scuba Steve |
Mark started crossfit again, and loves it. I'll be starting next week. I was waiting for results from a CT scan to make sure I'm all clear (been having back/rib pain since april that's feeling worse...yada yada, all normal, I've decided i'm not dying.) I've begun running again, I really missed it! I get emotional when I run, sounds silly, but add some good music and I feel free. It gets me all excited. Hopefully we will be ready for the Warrior Dash in April. We are back to eating Paleo, I however am doing it modified. I do not want to eliminate anything from my diet. So i'm still eating grains and carbs (just very minimal). Mark has lost 12lbs already, me? only 3...depressing. BUT, i'm looking for long term health, not temporary vanity and it's understandable since i'm modifying. only thing is I've started a weight loss competition amongst friends, and need results to reach my goal of 20lbs by end of April. It's do able...hopefully?
Lily is now attending a gym three times a week called 'The Little Gym'. Its a cool little gym where the teachers teach the kids mainly gymnastics. Though, we signed her up for the sports class to learn the basics of sports, the real intention is to help prepare her for a school environment and help her interaction with other children. She goes two-three times a week for an hour.
I love watching her accomplish things she would never learn with me. It is very apparent however that she has mine an marks athletic abilities. Neither of us are flexible, neither of us have any gymnastics bone in our bodies. However, I am determined for Lily to learn how to do these things and choose for herself if it is what she wants to do. The only thing i'm struggling with? She losses focus all the time! I've even tried bribing her with a toy ('if you listen to Mr. Ralph today, then you will get a toy') she's focused at the start and then slowly begins to move towards the other side of the gym to play with something she's not supposed too. It. drives. me. bonkers.
I've come to discover, I'm THAT mom, who stands close to the window to catch her child's eye to give her the death stare. who opens the door to tell their kid to pay attention. I get upset, because I don't want to be wasting money and time on something she will get nothing out of. But i'm not going to take her out of the classes because she is not behaving. I never thought i'd be so controlling with my kids. I never thought i'd feel embarrassed that my child is the only child playing on the rings while the rest are on the balance beam. I keep telling myself 'I should have put her in these classes earlier, when she was 2, and then it would not be so hard for her to pay attention.' But the 'should a's' will get me no where.
So what to do? As we were driving home from the gym one day, I thought about what I should do. It was a rough day at the gym, we had countless discussions prior to arriving about working on our listening and obeying skills. She said she would listen to the teacher. It started out good the first 30 minutes and then she got distracted. Swinging on the rings, instead of sitting at the purple wall with the other kids. It was rough. I was upset when we left. Keeping these feelings to myself and not letting her see that I was disappointed. I thought about how'd approach the situation, what I would say, what the punishment would be. As I went to unbuckle her from her seat, she said something funny. I looked her in the eyes and said, 'Lily, you are a very wonderful girl. I love you so much.' Was it what I should have done? Not sure, i'm not a perfect parent or a child therapist. But at that moment, it's what I felt she needed to hear. I love my imperfect, kind, gentle and imaginative daughter. At some point in her life, she will have another adult/teacher discipline her when she is being disobedient. They will be frustrated with her, she will feel their disappointment. And that will be okay with me. But, I never want her to forget that she is loved and just an amazing girl despite whatever bad choice she made. We are not perfect, which is why we are on earth, so we can learn how to be better. I'll let the teachers at the Little Gym do their job teaching lily, and i'll do my part, teaching her obedience in the home.
We were listening to music in the house, dancing and playing and then a song came on my iheartradio by the name of 'Lizzies Do's and Don'ts', the lyrics really touched me. It was about a Mom and her interaction with her daughter, the lyrics were something like this (i'm having a hard time finding the lyrics online) Mom to child: "Don't bring the sand home from the beach. Don't feed the kitty cat a peach, don't lick the dog when he licks you..." then child to mother: "Don't chat, chat, chat on the telephone. Don't lick so much of my ice-cream cone, don't tell me that my hair is messy..." but then the child goes on to say, "Do tell me that you love me, Do hold me close, Do help me"... This is all so true. I feel like i'm always saying Don't to Lily instead of Do. No wonder she gets so frustrated when playing and decides to completely ignore everyone. I limit her way to much and am not telling her what she can do. I would think, she would always feel like she is making a mistake. I need to work on telling her the Do's in life and less of the don'ts. I'm not a perfect parent (obviously) and I know there is no such thing (regardless of what old parents think of themselves raising their kids, earth to you, you were not that perfect, you're kid still does not know how to clean their messes). All I can do is, my best. This whole parenting thing is hard! Hoping I don't mess them up too much.
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| Working on her back flips with Mr. Ralph |
