Summer 2019

Technically the summer season has not ended, but Lily has gone back to school, so summer has ended for us.
The kids and I enjoyed lots of fun summer activities. Lots of splash pad and pool time with friends. The summer vacation felt very short, but we had a good time.

Lily is a great artist. this is her Jack Sparrow. But her specialty is Pokémon Characters. She really does have a talent for art.

Celebrating his best pal Bode's birthday at Top Golf

Jacob is going thru a phase of wanting to cuddle and hug other moms, especially the cute ones. lol! This is him cuddling with our friend Melanie at a basketball game. Oye, my son! lol!



I'm floating! lol!

Lots of biking and scooter riding in May.

I completed my first rope climb (and five more since then) as well as my toe to bar and knee to elbow. May was a good month for meeting goals.

Recitals
Lily had two recitals in May. One was her dance recital and the other her Piano recital. She did great dancing, we enjoyed her doing ballet more then the hip hop and her costume was so cute! Her piano recital she did two pieces. 'The Storm and 'Mickey Mouse club', she did a great job!

Mothers day

I had a wonderful mothers day. My mom and I went out on a date the night before to celebrate, I love spending time alone with her. And we celebrated Tina's birthday on Mothers day. We had a great weekend.

Happy 35th Birthday to Me!
I celebrated my 35th year of life by going away with Mark for a night at a really nice luxury resort in Scottsdale. It is called 'The Boulders'. It was very quiet and beautiful, we stayed in a casita, and I loved the interior. Definitely needed to stay more then one night! Not nearly enough time in the day to enjoy the pool. We had a wonderful time being together kid free...just what I needed! Then my birthday was on Sunday, which was fathers day. We did cake...but I wanted to be Marks day, so it was...because I always get what I want ;)

Grammy spoiled the kids while we were away, I know they prefer being with the Grandma's anyways.

Fathers day 2019
A day of golf, burgers and relaxation...but mainly golf. Hope he had a great day cause we sure do love him!!!

Utah trip 2019
We went to Utah for a week to spend time with my sister's family in their new home. We had a great time in the beautiful Utah weather and smelling the fresh air. It really made me want to move to Utah so bad. Someday I can see our family there, we shall see. My sisters new home is beautiful. She has a great running trail behind her house that goes all the way to American fork canyon, lots of fruit trees and a perfect space to hang out...which we did a lot of while we were there. We enjoyed going to the Aquatic center, eating shakes at JCW, going hiking up Mt. Timpanogas, helping out at Tabitha's Way and we went to Lagoon with Andrew, Whitney, Ben, Michelle, Jaime and Zane. Mark spent most of his time golfing with Uncle Kevin (which worked well since I got to hang out with my sister). We also celebrated the fourth of July with family and Jonathan and Alyssa Gardner. My sisters house is on a large hill overlooking the valley. So you can see a panoramic view of all the fireworks. We had a lot of fun! It was hard to leave our family, but we will be with them soon.

We got to meet baby Ellie!! She was adorable, we had fun loving her.

My sister has a gift with entertaining children with puppets. The kids loved this so much, even lily created a hilarious skit.

bonding time with sweet Lucy. lol!

Hiking Timpanogas

This is how it ended. Holding Jacob (cause he tripped like 20 times) and Lily biffing it at the end and crying uncontrollably till we had to carry her too. We have vowed to not go hiking till the kids are adults. However lily did say on the way home that she loves hiking...so IDK!



treating dad to ice cream. He had fun walking down memory lane at the BYU campus.

Saying goodbye sucks!

Conquered some water fears this vacation. He is now okay with his face under water and lily went down her first water slide.

Cousin birthday for Jacob



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don't let these smiles fool you, this hike was not as easy as we thought it would! Crossfit does not prepare you for elevation!



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Love this man so much! Love this picture, cause his hugs are the best!

drinking fresh spring water

Service at the pantry. So fun!

Jacob's not a fan of parades.

another hike...they ran, we walked! Elevation, no joke!

I LOVE HER! She was so excited about all the fire works. Cutest ever!



Lily could not find her chonies in the luggage, so she made her own. What! lol!

Hardest part of visiting Utah, saying goodbye to Grandma O. Goodness I love this amazing woman so much. We miss her terribly, I cry everytime we leave her. Wish so badly she was still in Tucson. We love her so much!

Uncle david showing lily how to enhance her artistic skills.

Lily got to watch fireworks on the roof with her cousins.

Stinkin' confidence!

Lily's First day of School
Our Lily started her first day of second grade today at Legacy. I was pretty emotional the night before thinking she may be nervous to start at a new school, but I should know her better. lol! On the way to school, I asked her 'what are you most nervous about?' her response, 'Nothing! I'm excited!' I wanted to stay for her flag ceremony, and as soon as we walked into the playground she said 'alright mom, I'll see you later' lol! my girl! So brave, no fear and so optimistic...she and I are so different! and I love it! I let her play, kept my distance during flag and blew her a kiss. I knew she would be just fine. She had a great first day. She has a good group of friends that go to the school, and is already enjoying her homework assignments. She's gonna do great.

Here comes the Butter Cream Gang! lol! The 'crew' walking from school together.

Pregnancy #4
So, sad news (cause life has good and bad moments). I found out I was pregnant end of June, concerned how the pregnancy would go due to my miscarriage in September. Each bathroom visit brings a lot of anxiety. Well last Wednesday I began to spot. I went to triage where I had an Ultra sound and blood work, blood work came back low progesterone (like previous miscarriage) and when looking for the baby, only a sac was found. It is called a Blighted Ovium, it is when the body prepares for growing a baby, but the baby does not properly implant. So my body assumes it's still pregnant, but no baby to grow. This whole trying to have a third child business is really frustrating. I had started to get hopeful about this pregnancy, what is the likely hood of a second miscarriage, right? But a las, here we are. I am willing to have a third, trying to do so, but I guess we are not ment to?  I cried a bit on Wednesday after the appointment, prayed a lot, felt sorry for myself a lot. But then felt I needed to understand that there was NOTHING I did wrong and nothing I could do about it. So crying and being depressed would not change the outcome. How I handled it would change the way my children felt about the situation. So, the kids and I went to the movies, played arcade games at fat cats and had a good burger for dinner. It was actually a fun day with my littles. I have two of the funniest, cutest and loving children around. I could not ask for more, and won't ask for more. A third child may or may not happen for our family, but I am so grateful for what I do have, and I need to use that knowledge to hold onto my joy. We'll see what next steps are, but life goes on, so do my goals and plans for the future. 'God doesn't take away the trails, just teaches you how to endure them'. I really believe that. For right now, I think we will take a break from trying to conceive a third child. We'll focus on making our home into our dream home, getting Jacob ready for school next year and travel with Mark to places we've wanted to visit. It'll be good for my body to rest from pregnancy for a little while.

Being Proud of Myself

3yrs and almost 40lbs in between the top and bottom photo. 

I remember taking the top photo. It was just weeks after restarting Crossfit again after a 8 month break due to childbirth and surgery. I was feeling happy again with getting back in the sport I loved and proud of myself for working to get strong again. I had hope for my future.

Since then, I’ve felt lots of lows as I try to be the best physical version of myself. I often let my self talk discourage me from ever thinking I can be an outwardly athletic person. I assume others thoughts and it gets me feeling defeated. I had someone tell me once that the reason why they are more athletic then me is because of their diets. I felt she was making an assumption I ate Mcdonalds and Oreos everyday. All while I was on a clean, protein high macro counting diet and had lost 20lbs. That comment made me feel hopeless. No one could see my efforts, cause I'm still overweight.


‘You’ll always be the fat girl trying to run with the skinny girls.’
‘You’ll never accomplish your goals, cause you’re not good enough.’
 You should be better after 7 yrs.’
'They think you must not eat well if you're still overweight.'
‘People only say you did good cause they are surprised someone your size can keep up.’
Needless to say, I’m not very nice to myself.

I recently finished a 12 week diet program. I was discouraged that since I wasn’t 💯 compliant, I’d let some people down who were hoping I’d have better results, including myself.

But looking at this before and after. And thinking about the hope that I had 3 yrs ago, that I would improve, get stronger and leaner, I doubt she would’ve cared about the time frame. She’d just be proud I hadn’t given up on my goals. So, I continue on, battling my inner jerk, battling the rude know-it-alls of health and improving one day at a time.
Today I did 3 knee to elbows in a row, something I’ve never been able to do. And THAT is why it’s all worth it. 

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March-April 2019

March


March was a good month. Mark started at his new job, and really loves it. He works more, and it's more challenging then his previous job. But that is what he was looking for.
We took the kids to Kidpalooza. It was unlimited games and inflatable rides. The kids had a lot of fun!
Lily had spring break, but we did not go anywhere exciting. Just Tucson for a couple days. Mark and I had a staycation there while Tina stayed with the kids. We hiked Sabino Canyon like old times, ate Chinese and saw a movie. Nothing too thrilling, but the fact that we actually got a date and night together made it special.
We also got a visit from my sister and niece Rebekah. I love spending time with them, and miss them terribly when they go. The kids loved being with them as well, especially Jacob with Rebekah. He can't wait to see them again in the summer time. We went to the 4th ave street fair. My sister and I bought matching dresses, and took silly pictures together like the old days. it was so fun, she makes me laugh so hard.
We celebrated my mom's birthday. First year that she has celebrated her birthday without her mother, who shares her birthday. We had to make sure we took care of her, but she chose to celebrate it the only way that makes her happy, by serving others. I really love my mom. She is an example of strength and service that I can only attempt to replicate.


Pictures in no particular order.

April

April started out with April fools day. I packed lily's lunch using junk food wrappers and put broccoli inside. She loved it! She such a dork, and it is so much fun.

Lily also went on her first field trip to the zoo. Unfortunately I could not go, because I had to stay with Jacob, but, I a sweet friend who took pictures and sent them to me. She had a great time. And loves to learn about animals.

We went to the school carnival where Jacob went on the spinning ride over 15 times! He had eaten a big cotton candy and felt very sick. He was so cute, despite feeling terrible. But they had a great time.

Mark was in LA for a week for work, so the kids and I found fun together. Saw movies, played at the playgrounds and went to the museum. I love spending time with those crazies.

Easter was good. Stayed home for Easter and had the moms come up. Kids did an easter egg hunt Saturday with our HOA, which was really great. Then sunday they found their own easter eggs. Lily got a scooter, which she has only biffed once since receiving it. and Jacob got a Hero Masher from us and his Aunt Nanita. That boy is obsessed with Hero Mashers! Wish they were easier to find. He and I search goodwill often for them, he's my hunting buddy.

Our Neighbor friends Vicky and Jeff went back to South Dakota for the summer. We are bummed to see them leave. They invited us to their house for dinner one night, and the kids were so funny about it. Jacob wanted to dress his best, so he chose a nice sweater and his church pants (it was like 90 degrees). He would not let me change his clothes! The just love Vicky and Jeff. Best neighbors.

We went to the fair this past Saturday. And the kids enjoyed playing the games and rides, keeping it a fun family tradition. We of course ended our day with some mini donuts and foot massager chairs in Popops honor. Always good to remind Lily and tell Jacob the great memories we had with him.

I finished my 12 week cut with RP. I lost 12 lbs all together, not being 100 percent compliant. More like 85 percent. So, had I been 100 percent, I'd probably lost more. BUT I am still happy with the results and feel that it is a diet change that I can maintain. I often found myself feeling discouraged, with self hatred and the feeling I will always be in an uphill climb when it comes to my physical fitness, but when I look back on where I was 12 weeks ago, I realize that no matter how slow it may be, I am still moving toward the destination. I just can't jump off the bus. Now I am in maintain period for the next 12 weeks and then I'll begin another 12 week cut. I improved all my lifts by 5 lbs, got my knee to elbows, toe to bars and strung my pull-ups by three's all in the 12 weeks time. I am improving on all levels of fitness. And that is truly the goal.

Super vulnerable pictures, I'm not confident enough to show my legs, but hopefully I will be one day.