Is wonderfully different.
We are loving our little Lily. She is the cutest little girl, and has me laughing all the time with her cute little facial expressions, poses while sleeping and sounds she makes when looking around. I love spending all day with her and I can see that returning to work in 8 weeks will be difficult.
I am supposed to be in house recovering for 6 weeks with Lily, but I think I would go crazy if I never left. The first full day from the hospital, Lily and I spent all day in the apartment. By the end of the day I was crying about everything! I cried harder then I think I ever have in my life. It was the whole 'dry heave' type of cry and it was over mark not agreeing with me about something. I felt so weird inside and felt like I was loosing my mind. So, needless to say, I have to get out daily in order to keep my sanity.
Lily only sleeps in bed with mark and I because she wants to be cuddled all the time. We have gone through two cradles, swaddlers and a moby wrap to find a solution to her sleeping by herself...but we have given in to her demands and she now sleeps in bed with us. I don't actually sleep at night though for fear that Mark might roll over her in his sleep...but with three weeks of accident free sleeping, I think we will be okay.
The little girl was not gaining any weight, which had me freaking out. Looks like I am not producing all the calories she needs from breast milk, so we are using formula as well. At first I was sad that I could not produce what she needed, but I am grateful now that she is gaining weight.
Mark and I spent the day with each other all day yesterday and Lily's Grammy Ontiveros babysat her. Mark is so wonderful for wanting to take me out of the house to spend time together, he is always finding ways to make me happy. I did cry when we gave Lily to Grammy, and I cried when we went to pick her up from marks parents house and they were not home yet...so yes, I did not like leaving my baby. But, I miss my alone time with Mark, and I loved spending time with him yesterday. I love him very very much!
Overall, parenthood is fun and is teaching me a lot. But, I am also realizing just how hard it actually is! I used to think stay at home moms were only being dramatic when they talked about how much work goes in to staying home with your kids, but they were right! I don't know how I am going to balance child, spouse, work and my own desires. But I guess I don't really have a choice, huh?
Oh it's so hard! You sound like you're doing good! Isaac had to be held sleeping and held all the time until he was 2 months old and it was at my wits end and something had to change. Was too scared to sleep him in bed with us so we switched off sleeping with him on the couch. After a few weeks he started sleeping for a few hours in his crib alone at night. Keep trying it every now and then. She'll get it! If you get to your wits end and want some sleep training advice/experiences let me know.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah. It is nice to know I am not alone! I purchased a thing called the rock and play, and she manages to sleep in there by herself for about 5 hours, and then will sleep 3 hours with me in bed when mark leaves for the day. Still waiting for the day she sleeps 8 hours by herself. But I do enjoy the cuddling. Thank you for giving me hope that the sleeping habits will improve. Love ya!
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