Mid February thru March

It's been some time since I wrote last. Not much to report. I'll write about baby in a seperate post. But here is how the last month and a half has gone... Lily had her 9th birthday! Love our sweet, smart and compasionate Lily lu lu. She has had an interest in the beach and all things tropical since we spent time in San Diego for Liz's wedding. So for her birthday gift she asked for a room makeover. She is too cool for the pink room she had and is growing so much in her individual interests. So we painted her room a very vibrante tropical turqouise and light blue. Then bought some new shelves for her to hang up her art work and make her a chalkboard wall. She was very happy to have her new room and feels like she is growing older already. She wanted a beach themed birthday, which this year we went to Tucson to celbrate with the Grandmas. She really wanted to have a birthday party, but due to covid risk and the pregnancy, we had to forgo the friend invitations. She still had a wonderful birthday celbration. One of the many amazing qualities about this girl is she is incredibly optimistic. Nothing gets her down and she can always see the positive in any situation, she teaches me alot. She will be anyones friend, has no shy bone in her body and finds joy in meeting new people, kids and adults. She amazes me. She is hilarious and always making people laugh with her goofy personality. She is incredibly smart and teaches me new things about nature and science. She does not give up! Once she has set her mind to completeing a task, she will see it thru and does not get discouraged. She set a goal to complete the monkey bars at the playground like Jacob, mind you Jacob weighs about 45 pounds, so his grip is not taxed and it's easier for him. Lily did not let that get in her way. She worked on them every time we would go to the park, her hands would get raw and sometimes she would be in pain, but she never stopped trying. Well, within a month of practicing, she got it. She is so strong and her grip strength amazes me. Not only is she doing them now forwards, but she is doing them backwards! Amazing! She is such a good sister and looks after her brother so much without a complaint. She loves to help little kids at the park and i can tell sometimes it makes the parents feel uneasy, but i'm not about to stop her good nature. I am so grateful she was the first of her siblings, the big sister paving the way for these crazy boys. Lily is seriously the best kid I've ever met, not just saying that cause she is mine, but because it is true!! Love her with all my soul.

We celebrated a very calm Valentines day. Since it was on a Sunday and my dad was in town, Mark and I escaped for a quick meal at the olive mill. Then Sunday we celbrated with the kids as night ordering Oregano's and exchanging gifts of love. Super simple, not like our usual fancy meal, but with the most imporatant people.

Other stuff celbrated and achieved... My mom finished her two doses of the Pfizer vaccine, followed by my dad and Ricardo. My OB told me I should wait till i'm closer to the third trimester so that antibodies can move over to the baby after birth. I'm getting super anxious to get it. We've decided to cancel our trip to Miami, which stinks, but it's worth it to keep me and the baby healthy. I should have both doeses by end of May. Lily has finally gotten the hang of online schooling, and got all A's and two B's on her report card this last quarter! Proud of her. So happy she will be going to school next year though, this online school stuff has been rough for her, especailly not being able to socialize with friends. We celebrated at Oreganos. Mark and I got a little staycation for a few days at home during spring break while the kids spent time with the grandmas in Tucson. They had a blast being spoiled and we enjoyed eating at restaruants they don't like and sleeping without a stinker in our bed. However, I will admit that I love having them sneak into bed with us, and I may or may not have cried at night wishing they were with us. Home is just not home without them. We also signed up to be members of a Golf Club (oh la la). Mark's dream has been achieved. lol. He gets to play golf everyday and the kids and I go to the pool at least three times a week. It has been a lot of fun. I have also returned to working out everyday, super low key stuff like walking a light lifting, but it has helped my anxiety so much! I miss going to crossfit, but I know I'll be back after little one is born. For now it's walks, swimming and stationary bike...yay. Our house has been recieving some updates. It is sporting a new coat of paint, some new door handles, interior paint and next week we get a new backyard and taking down the big Sisso tree (which i'm actually sad about). Next will be the floors and then we should be good with updates. We are still looking into upgrading to a bigger home somewhere closer to gilbert, but we love our little house for now and will enjoy the updates. It is definitly a sellers market, we have earned over 100,000 in equity on our home so far! But, the problem is there aren't alot of houses for sale, and because of that home prices are crazy high...so we are going to be patient and see what happens. Fingers crossed. Mark started another job. Yup...another. BUT this time it is what he had been working towards. He has left Ernst and Young to work for Republic Services headquarters as an accounting manager. So far he is very happy, and the people seem great. Fingers crossed he will love it so much it will be long term and I won't have to change insurances for another five years. lol. The kids finished their Healthy kid running series. They did so well trying out something totally new. Jacob is a natural runner. He ran with an older group cause we knew he could handle the 1/4 mile. He managed to keep up everytime with the older boys and get within 5th or 4th place everytime. He is so fast and has great endurance. He was disappointed with not getthing the first place trophy, and was about to cry when we had a discussion about not crying over not winning, but letting that sadness fuel his fire to do better next time and to be proud of the first place winner. This changed his mind quick and is already coming up with stratagies to win the next series. Love his motivation. Lily did a wonderful job never giving up. She runs like me, not the fastest and may come in last everytime, but will never stop running. I am so proud of her for not getting discouraged and completing each 1/2 mile race. I would have never completed something like this at her age, but she never complained and always walked away with a positive attitude. She always picked up speed at the end of the race, which makes me think she has more juice then she thinks she does. She was also such a good sport with the other kids. She would congratulate everyone and cheer people on the whole time. Once parent even brought her a treat to thank her for being so encouraging. She made some fans. Like usual. We are very proud of both of them. We also celbrated my mom's 68th birthday, so extremely grateful for her and love her so much! And Lily pranked us big time on April 1st with her frozen cereal tricks, molded sandwhich bread and placing an upside down cup of water succtioned to the counter so when you lifted it, then it would spill everywhere. Very clever. I just tricked them with milky strawberry jello and told them id made them strawberry milk. I think they were more excited to have Jello. We have had a good few months. My morning sickness subsided around 16 weeks, so everyone is happier now. lol.

By Comparison...

ooooooooooommmmmnnnnnnbbbbbbbvcfdxaqewrtyo] (This is Jacobs journal entry contribution) We have arrived to the 16th week and the 4th month completed of pregnancy. Are we out of the woods yet? I sure hope so. I went to my 16 week apt. today, fetal heart beat 154 bpm, and my uterus is to my belly button thanks to my short torso. So far baby and I are doing well. But let me tell you, by comparison to my other two pregnancies, I'm feeling this one alot stronger. I feel very similar to how I felt with Jacob, lots of nausea, feeling weak and overall crappy. I lost about 10lbs, but slowly gaining some back. However with Jacob I was able to do some crossfit time, and definitlty by second trimester was back in the gym. This time, no way. Whenever I start to lift or do a 'workout' type excersise, I get pain in my shoulder or hip and get tired really quick. I was having some cramps that concerned me, so I laid low for a while and decided I needed to place crossfit on hold till after baby. So, my excersise is a 20-30 min walk a day or just doing chores around the house. I hate it. My doctor said it would feel harder this time around. I feel so old. I see ads for pregnancy and the moms in the ads are all cute young moms who look like my 20 yr old neices, and then their is me with more grey hairs everyday and look like i've had my soul sucked out from my body with all these bags under my eyes. Yikes. Maybe I have more time to think about my symptoms now that I stay home full time. Lily and Jacob I worked full time and did not have idle time to think about my aches and pains...at least this is Marks theory. He has been such a huge help, so grateful he is working from home so he can help me around the house and with the kids. I gag all the time, it's gotten better lately, but sometimes being in the kitchen brings me physical pain and occasionaly vomit. Hard to eat most days. Makes my anxiety crazy thinking I'm not doing enough to help my body to be strong and ready for labor. I've also been extra paranoid about DVT and Pulmenary Embolism like a crazy person. If I'm not walking enough, I'm going to get a blood clot cause I'm over 35. It's driving me nuts. I've been wearing compression socks everyother day, putting my feet up and examining my legs. Any ache in my calf I feel I start to feel paniced. Why am I so bonkers?! My doctor says I have nothing to worry about and don't even need to wear compression socks. But if I'm not doing anything at all it increases my chances, right? I can't control what happens with the babies health, but I can control mine...at least I like to believe so. With my usual anxiety, being over 35 and pregnant (which my OB reminds me every time that I'm old) and having lost two pregnancies, I feel like i'm losing my mind. I know I was paranoid with my other two, but not to this level. Geez. I've been feeling the little nugget move, just those cute little flutters from time to time. Still my favorite feeling in the world and always makes my heart feel peace. We are still getting boy vibes. We will have the Anatomy Ultrasound on the 31st, so I am really excited. I love ultrasounds. I'm a mess with nervousness before them, but once I see our little sweetie bouncing around, brings my heart so much joy and makes it all worth it. I keep dreading labor, and the unexpectedness of it all. The kids like for me to tell them their birth stories and they get all gushy when I get to the part of holding them for the first time and my heart feeling like it wanted to burst from all the love I felt for them. Man, labor sucks, but getting to hold them and see their beautiful faces makes this all worth it. I tell Mark how much I want to be put to sleep and wake up after August 19th to the moment I get to be out of the hospital with a good bill of health for both me and the baby and just get to enjoy us being their parent. I've been waiting for this stinker for some time, and at times felt that it would never happen. I'm super impatient and want to skip the next five months to be with them. I just pray baby is healthy, my body is healthy and we can have that happy ending. My heart hurts for those who did not get their happy ending. I never want to experience that agony and longing for the child you always thought you'd raise. I keep getting contacted by relief society asking how I'm doing and saying they have me in their prayers and it makes me paranoid as hell that something bad might happen. I'm far too latin. lol. So, I will continue to pray for guidance on how to take care of myself and the baby and hope that thier devolpment continues in a positive directions. (deep breaths) Covid Updates: I've been debating wether or not to get the Covid vaccine. Mark has had his shots, my mom too and it would be nice to feel a next level of protection from something that could potentially place me on a resperator if I as a pregnant women were to get sick. It just seems like the wiser thing to do. If I have the ability to decrease my chances of an adverse outcome from the virus, it's well worth any side effect the vaccine may give, right? I've been doing alot of research on the vaccine and it is actually really fasinating! It is an mNRA vaccine. Something they have been working on for decades but have not had the amount of human trials they have needed until covid hit and more people volunteered for trials. It is not a live virus vaccine. From what I understand, the vaccine has a protien coating the coats your cells and exchanges a gene code with the cells for the cells to recognize the covid virus. Then the cells are able to create the antibodies to give the body protection from severe outcomes if you were to be infected by the virus. Amazing. I am so pumped to see how this will effect future vaccines for Cancer, parkinsons and MS! Sorry, I went on a tangent. ANYWAYS I spoke to my OB about getting the vaccine and she advises getting it, but waiting till i'm in my last trimester so I have antibodies that will possibly transfer to baby through breast milk. BUT we are planning to go to Miami end of April for a babymoon, so it may be wise to get it before then? Right? Well, I guess I have to wait till it's my turn to recieve it anyways. It'll also be good so I can visit with family without being afraid they will get me sick. Cause we have family members who either don't agree with vaccination of any type or who are not sure about the covid vaccine. I can't force them to be cautious or to consider me in their decision, so I should probably do what I can to protect myself and the baby. Numbers have decreased, however there are new strains of the virus that they are worried about. And with spring break upon us, we will see how it goes. Some states (including Arizona) have decided to go to full capacity again in local businesses, so their is hightend risk there too. I still don't feel comfortable eating inside a restaurant or going to fun centers...just not their yet. Hopefully with more vaccinations there will be less hospitalizations and deaths. We are still doing as much as we can to stay safe, especialy now that I'm pregnant we need to be extra careful. We just hang out with family in Tucson occasionally and visit with friends outside. Most places still require masks, which are annoying but totally the right thing to do. Lily is still doing online school but will go back with Jacob in July. Hopefully by then it will be safer for them to be in school. We had to miss Sarah's wedding this week because of the risk of exposure. It being in an indoor venue and the amount of guests who would be there was not a risk we were willing to take. Though I spent most of the day monday crying about missing her special day. I hate this virus. It's crazy to think it has been a year since our first lockdown. Feels like a lifetime ago! There is so much division amoung people. Those who don't take the virus seriously vs. Those who do. Causes alot of conflict amoung people who were once friends, it's crazy. Trump is gone, good riddens, Biden's rolling out the vaccines. Times are definitly divded, opinions are stronger then ever and honestly people make me feel naceous with their ignorance and stupidity...or maybe that's the prenancy?

The Caboose has Finally Arrived

The Caboose on our family love train has finally decided to make his or her apperance. We are pregnant with baby #5 (being that we lost two). Technically will be child number three if lord willing it stays a healthy pregnancy to delivery. I am currently 12 weeks pregnant and so far everything looks good! Today I had my 12 week NT Ultrasound, baby is measuring 12 weeks/ 6 days, however they are keeping the original due date as August 26th. The baby had a heart rate of 156 bpm and was moving like crazy (another Jacob). I have a tilted uterus, so it was difficult for them the get a good image of him (we are feeling boy vibes, so it will be a him until confirmed it's a she). So the technician had to wiggle my belly, made me cough and move around until he moved to the side we needed him to be. HE WOULD NOT BUDGE! His hands under his chin and legs tucked nice and cozy up to my back. I then gave a good pelvis thrust and he threw up his fist and an elbow and moved. lol! I really think he's got a bit of an attitude already. Everything in the ultrasound looked good and healthy, hopefully it will stay that way. It gave my heart peace to see he was alive and well. I had a feeling I was pregnant around new years, not only cause I did not start my period in December, but i was just feeling really 'off'. I waited to do a pregnancy test until I thought i'd be 8 weeks pregnant, so I could see the doc right away. They gave me an ultrasound at 10 weeks and though I was feeling pregnant and sick, I still anticipated a false pregnancy due to miscarrages. Welp, not so much. I was emotional to see I had a little peanut growing inside me. This pregnancy so far has been difficult for more reasons then one. I have really bad nausea, heart burn and have lost about 10lbs. So physically this feels exactly like my pregnancy with Jacob. The smell of meat makes me want to vomit, and I hate the smell in my house! The smell of my new car has made me throw up a few times and I can't even cut cucumbers for the kids lunches cause I start to gag. Eating is a struggle. My doctor is worried I'm not eating enough protien, so shakes and yogurt will be my diet for awhile. I've had some cramping from time to time which ofcourse makes me worried, but my doctor says it may be due to stretching uterus and the way it is positioned right now.I have not been going to the gym regularly out of fear I may aggrevate something and too weak. With all this complaing of my physical symptoms, I am in the end so grateful I have them to reasure me that they pregnancy is moving forward and still exsistant. I had no symptoms of pregnancy with my last two miscarrages, so this helps me know we are on the right path. Of course I am still paranoid that I will miscarry the baby. I am in love with him even as a little alien looking creature, so to lose him would hurt so much. But my perspective has changed a bit since the last two. I know I have zero control over the outcome of this pregnancy. I can take my prenatals, go on walks, wear the compression socks and eat all the nutritious foods I can, but if the baby does not go to term, I had absolutly no control over that. It'll be what It'll be is what I keep repeating to myself. I am apprehensive about the outcome of this pregnancy, maybe cause I know miscarage, still birth and disabilities are a harsh reality, but they have happend to so many people close to me. I'm a pretty big pesamist, but all I can do is go forward with this ride, no matter where it takes me. I can pray for a positive outcome, but I know that Heavenly Father would not make my baby live just because I wish it. If it is not his will or if nature will not allow it to be so, I need to accept it and move forward with my life. I have hope, and faith that the outcome will be what it will be. So, here we go, fingers crossed and for right now I will keep positive. I had a dream the other night that we had a baby boy. He was around 6 months and looked exactly like Mark when he was a baby. Chubby, curly hairs in the back of his head and light green eyes like Mark. He was driving Lily and Jacob crazy knocking down their art supplies and Lego's saying 'NO! WE DON'T DO THAT!' lol! He would just laugh about it. Then I picked him up and we bounced him chanting 'one of us! one of us!' It was a funny dream, but one that made me feel peace. I was happy to have had that dream. After my first ultrasound, when I heard his heartbeat, I thought 'you returned back to me' as I thought about the first baby i'd lost. That may be cheesy thinking, but it's a possibility, right? Who knows. The kids both know and are so excited. Both disifered the code words Mark and I were using and guessed I was pregnant. Lily hopes it's a girl of course and Jacob a boy. They ask about the baby all the time and can't wait for it to be born. Jacob cuddles and kisses my belly all the time, he is so excited to be a big brother. Lily is already talking about how overwhelmed she'll be babysitting two sibilings someday...at least she knows it's coming. 6 years is a big gap between my last two, but we feel like it'll be wonderful cause they are more excited about the outcome and helping with the baby. This baby is going to be spoiled by his older siblings! I am considered high risk cause I'm over 35 now, which means I'll get some more in depth looks at the baby, so that is kind of cool. I am grateful for another chance to bring a sweet spirit into our family again. I've been thinking we've had a third child for too long, and I am excited to meet him. I just want the days to go fast, the pregnancy to go smoothly and him to be healthy. OH, and to not catch the COVID-19 virus in the process...oye.