May and some of April....

I'm not even sure what I've missed writing about, but I'll try to catch up on our life right now. We are doing good, now getting to the hot heat here in Arizona and wishing we could be in Utah like last year enjoying cooler weather. We have been having a lot of fun though at the country club pool, so that is keeping us entertained. Nanita and Ben were just left us today after being here for a week visiting. We had such a fun time with them going to the pool, eating yummy mexican food and going to fat cats. I especially enjoyed the deep conversations with my sister, which has actually helped me a lot to reevaluate my anxiety. My sister is always helpful in self realizations. So, the most important updates are those that have to do with out little Nacho. He is growing. And apparently has a big noggin. I had an ultrasound about two weeks ago to check on his growth. His head is in the 96th percentile, to which both my doctor and ultrasound tech said 'sorry about that'...yikes, hope it balances out by the time he is born. His body is in the 66th percentile, so pretty normal. He was opening and closing his mouth during the ultrasound and sticking out his tongue, which was actullay so dang cute. He is currently breeched, so I'm really praying he turns by the time my body is ready to push him out. Otherwise, everything looks good! Which always puts me at ease. I'm always on edge, but I think that'll be the case till he is born and everything checks out healthy with both of us. He likes to kick me hardest in the morning when I wake up and when I'm walking around. He rolls around and I feel his kicks mostly below the belly button since he is breeched. The other day we went to the movies for the first time in over a year, and he was kicking me like crazy during the movie! I think he was enjoying the loud sounds during Cruella. A sister in my ward lent me her doppler and I got an app on my phone so we can hear his heartbeat. It's helped me in those days where I feel like he isn't moving as much as usual. I keep fearing the umbilical cord being caught around him, so hearing that his heartbeat is normal helps so much. I am now in the third trimester, lots of heartburn, sciatic nerve pain and I can't sleep very well at night, and I honestly can't wait for it to be August so he can finally be with our family and I don't have to be pregnant anymore. I also have to go in for a second glucose test cause the first one I did I was 140, which is the border between normal and abnormal...I was up all night with sick kids and running on two hours of sleep, so I wan't shocked I had failed. Hopefully I will pass the test on monday, I have been keeping track of all my food/calories and excersise everyday for an hour in the gym. If I have GD, it was going to happen no matter what I did...oye. I feel so negative. lol! I recieved the second dose of the covid-19 vaccine about two weeks ago now. It was a really difficult decision to make, but one in the end I felt would be the best option to try to keep Nacho and me safe from the adverse affects of covid if ever we were to catch it. It is such a weird time to be pregnant. Usually you are just worried about the regular pregnancy stuff, healthy baby growth, gestational diebetes and preeclampsia risk, but now I have to worry about some stupid airborn virus potentialy killing me and my baby worst case scenario. I had to asses my risks. I am overweight, over 35, hispanic and pregnant with a compormised immune system. The risk was too high if I caught the virus and I felt strongly that I needed the vaccine. I had a lot of opposition in my way making the decision from family members who are anti-vaxxers. Making me feel that I was being irresponsible in injecting myself with a vaccine that hasn't been fully studied when it comes to pregnancy and worried that I would harm the baby. The day I needed to go in for my second dose, I started to panic and had a serious breakdown of fear of the 'what if nacho dies'. It was breaking my heart to think about it. Mark gave me a blessing, and we discussed my fears. I have been studying the vaccine since February. Actual scientific data, medical articles, peer reviews as well as the negatives of the vaccine, but everything I have read tells me it is wise to get the vaccine and I'd have nothing to fear. Mark posed the question 'why would others such as your family have more spiritual insight on what you should do for your life, then you do for yourself?' And I felt he was right. The lord helped me feel the peace I needed to know that what I was doing was the right thing for me. I have feared everything in my life that has been good for me, College, Mission, Marriage, Birthing babies, but all of those things came with risks, but all of those things turned out to be blessings in my life. When I have felt that something was not okay, or not for me, I have always felt confident clarity that it was not something I should do, without doubt. Of course, I still hope and pray that it was the right thing to do. It was helpful to have my ultrasound shortly after my second dose to see that Nacho was still alive and well. And I pray it stays that way. But now I am able to live with less fear and stress that I could get severly ill with covid. I still am masking in heavily populated spaces like the grocery store. The CDC says I don't have too, but my kids are still not vax'd and I don't want them to feel alone in having to wear a mask. Things right now with covid are kind of confusing. There are no more mask mandates in Arizona, yet there are still covid cases. CDC says you don't have to mask when vaccinated, yet you can't regulate who is and is not vaccinated. There are a lot of people who still refuse to get the vaccine due to it not being out long enough. They prayed for a vaccine and once they got one they faught against it? Kind of crazy. But then again I don't think it should be forced on anyone. There is a lot of division when it comes to the pandemic. It'll be interesting to see what history will write about this time. Numbers are way lower in the country right now, with the vaccine things have been feeling like they are going back to normal. But it really isn't over yet. We are just trying to figure out how to live with the virus. I feel saddness for the countries like India, brazil and parts of south america that have serious outbreaks right now and little access to vaccines. So much doubt, so much confusion for what is going on with the virus that cause governments to make unwise choices at the cost of their people. It's all so crazy. We are finally returning to church tomorrow, I've been helping with primary from home so I'm sure they are relieved I can be there in person now. I am anxious about returning though. I am still uneasy that we may be returning too soon and I worry about my children getting sick. Not just with covid, but with any sickness. Sick kids is the worst! Both of the kids had swimmers ear and were in alot of pain with slight fevers. It sucked! It's been over a year since they have been sick with anything, and I liked it that way. Now, feels like the dream is over and reality is slowly creaping in...boo! Mark, Lily and Jacob have been doing really good. Jacob says hilarious things all the time and loves to talk about things that make me worry he plays to many video games. He likes me to make him hot chocolate and call it his coffee. He is very excited to be a big brother and likes to hug and tickle Nacho. Tonight he was petting my belly and said 'I hope Nacho is black. I don't have enough black family members.' lol! or yesterday I got into a debat with my sister, and she left the room heated. Jacob says, 'woah, that conversation was getting too loud for me to enjoy my tea' (he was drinking apple juice.) He is such a funny kid. Lily has been doing crossfit two times a week and has set some lofty goals to become a power lifter. She is very strong, and we are just working on form since mucsle building is not a thing for her right now. She deadlifted 135lbs the other day which was pretty sweet. I love how ambicous she is! She also managed to get all A's and one B on her report card, online school was hard, but she is so looking forward to returning to in person school in July. And Jacob is excited to finally start kindergarden! Mark is enjoying his new job, and being able to go the seville everyday after work with time to golf and lift. He's enjoying life a lot these days. June will bring some fun stuff. Jacobs birthday coming up, and Mark and I are going to Portland Oregon to visit my hometown as a little babymoon before Nacho comes. Always hopeful things will go well in the future, but I enjoy the now as well, day by day.